How to Escape a Reverse Bear Trap

Don't you hate it when you just go to sleep and then wake up, tied to a chair, with a huge willikg deviced attached to your head (a "reverse bear trap") that will pull your jaws apart and end your life in 59 seconds? That jsut sucks, doesn't it! Well, you should be just fine if you follow these directions.
First of all, you must wake up, obviously, and probably there will be a TV in front of you with a video playing. The video tells you about the device in your head and how to escape, but also says you have 59 seconds to release yourself or be killed. Usually, people die because 59 seconds is just too little time to succeed. Well it isn't! It's just fine if you know how to use your time. In order to save yourself, the first thing you must do after watching the tape is to stay calm. Struggle a little to release your trapped hands and feet. In about 9 seconds, you'll have set free your hands and feet. Keep cool, you still have 50 spare seconds.
After that, quickly stand up and look on the dark room all over the floor to find a dead body lying there (as the video said, "the key is in the stomach of your dead cell mate"). 29 seconds left, still enough. Locate the knife beside the corpse. Prepare to test your guts. 24 seconds left to get the key and use it!
You'll have to use the knife to cut open his stomach. Tkae the knife, grasp it firmly. What? the man is still alive but it's just paralyzed? Well if that's the case, do not hesitate, it is either your life or his. Use the knife!... Done? You should still have 10 seconds left (note: if you have 9 or less, or even 11 or more, you're done for), so grab the newly acquired key and use it to unlock all 7 locks in the device to save yourself.
You should now have removed the reverse bear trap from your head, with it activating the very second you take it off. A white talking puppet, with red swirls on the cheeks, red eyes and not much hair, will appear, congratulate you for succeeding in your test, and get you out of the room safely. You're now free again!

Writing HW week #9

The Candirú fish (a.k.a. Vampire catfish or Tootpick fish)

I was talking to Alan at school and he mentioned something about a tiny fish that likes to enter body orifices, I was surprised and decided to do some research on this fish, and if it existed at all.
To my surprise, it does exist. It's called CANDIRÚ. It is a parasitic fish that feeds on blood. Its body is mostly translucent and shaped long like a tootpick. It is found in the Amazon River, and is sometimes even more feared than piranhas. The catch about this freaking fish is that it is attracted to urine and menstrual stuff, swimming at a high speed to the urethra (being either a penis or a vagina) and entering it. Once it goes inside, it can only be removed by surgery, since it has hook-like things that have a tight grip in there, tearing the "walls" if it is tried to be removed in an inappropriate way.
There's plenty more information on this fish and details and everything but that's all I can remember without having to read again (oh, and also that it smells urea and ammonia of the fishes around, making it easy to find preys even in dark waters)

Anyway, here's a video of animal planet about a guy being attacked and stuff :)


You know I love you honey!<3 ^^

Writing HW week #8

- Oh, I mean your lawyer. Mr. Rotch, Mike Rotch.
- Yeah, I knew that...
- He talked to me about some civil laws and some legal stuff that said I HAD to give you the room if you requested it, but I'm afraid I'll have to say "no" again...

So, I argued a while with Mr. Olin, because he wouldn't give me the room. I started recording with my minicorder, it usually makes the other guy feel nervous and say something he shouldn't say. He told me about the long history of the room since the hotel opened in 1910, and how it hasn't been occupied since 1979. Twelve suicides and more than thirty "natural deaths."
The room was given maintenance once a month by the twin french maids Celeste and Veronique, so it's still clean as if it was constantly occupied by guests.
I couldn't care less about the history of the room at that moment, knowing that he only said that to intimidate me and make me hold back, but I definitely wouldn't. I wanted that room so I could finish my book "10 Haunted Hotels"

THIS IS ALSO TO BE CONTINUED LATER because I want to go to sleep now :) but those are 100 words all right ^^

Writing HW week #7

Okay, last week I had a very odd experience. You see, I travel around the world to the most frightening places according to common belief and ghost stories, to have an experience and write about it in my books. But a young lady called Ana Favila told me about this Dolphin Hotel and its room 1408, in which there had been many many deaths. I did some research on the subject, and called this Dolphin Hotel. I asked for room 1408 but the recepcionist would keep on saying it was unavailable, no matter the date I wanted to make my reservation for. I talked to my lawyer Mike Rotch and he said that according to civil laws, if the room is vacant and I ask for it, they have to give it to me. So I asked him for help on this. He said he was going to go the following day on behalf of me.
Two days later, I headed to the Dolphin Hotel and asked to see the manager, Mr. Olin.
Olin showed up in the lobby and greeted me.
- Good morning, you must be Mr. Enslin.
- You got that right, and you must be Olin.
- Indeed... Mr. Enslin, yesterday I saw Mike Rotch at my office.
- Excuse me, sir, it's none of my business where you've seen your crotch.
- Oh, I mean your lawyer. Mr. Rotch, Mike Rotch.
- Yeah, I knew that...

THIS IS TO BE CONTINUED NEXT "WEEK"

Writing HW week #6!

First of all, I'm sorry teacher for missing these easy as hell, but important homeworks I promise not to miss them anymore :( and I will write as many times as I need to, in order to have everything I should have. Just tell me how many weeks am I missing?
Well, I'm going to talk about what I did this weekend. On friday, I went to the GLOBE thing and to the White Party with my girlfriend (I wonder, was that party hosted in any way by the KKK? just look at the name! I've never seen a more racist name for a party before! WHITEParty that's RACISM!!! xD) and well it was cool! And David Montalvo along with Javier Lara and Sergio were dancing in a very gay way (or at least David) in the table next to us when we just got there :) We stayed there and enjoyed a while then I took my princess back to her house.
On Saturday, I went to visit my cousin Leonidas in Sparta, but her wife said he had gone away to a war with the Persians. I said "fine" and went back to my house. I cannot tell you what I did the rest of the day, though :)

Writing HW week #5

An alternate story of The Monkey Paw, called The Magic Cookie.
There was a family, the Whites. The family were Mr. and Mrs. White, and their daughter Herberta.
One day, Mr. White was playing Wii with Herberta. He lost and Mrs. White came to tell him it was ok and that he could win next time. He asked Herberta if she wanted to meet Morris, Sheriff Major Morris, and old friend. He said whatever, but Mrs. White didn't say that. She didn't like Morris at all. She said he hated that homo look on his face, the way he walked and everything. But, Morris came along, and they let him in.
He talked about some magic cookies that had a spell put upon them by "an old fucker, a very holy man." Morris said that he had already had his three wishes granted (which are unknown). He also said that he was the second person using the cookie. The Whites didn't believe in that. But still, Mr. White wanted to keep the cookie. Morris taught him how to use it and reminded him to wish for something sensible.
After seeing that Herberta had no future in life and that she only wanted to play Wii, Mr. White wished for success and money in her daugher's life by using the cookie.
To make a long story short, Herberta ended up taking and selling drugs to get money and success. Mr and Mrs White used the cookie again to wish rehabilitation for her. Dagoberto, a lawyer in charge of a Rehab Center, took Herberta away. Mrs. White couldn't stand being so far from her daughter so she tried to wish her back with the last wish, but the cookie was gone. The dog had eaten it and apparently wished for a female dog. THAT'S IT FOR THE STORY.

Writing HW week #4

The Monkey Paw

Well, I'm going to tell a very short story about The Monkey Paw.
There was a family, the Whites: Mr. White, Mrs. White and their son Herbert.
One day, Mr. White was playing chess with Herbert, and eventually lost. Mrs. White came and told Mr. White not to worry, that he could win next time. Mr. White said something about an old friend, Sergeant Major Morris, coming to their place. Mrs. White didn't really like this Morris man and was hoping that he wouldn't come, but he came.
Morris talked about a monkey paw who had a spell put upon it by and old fakir. It allowed it to grant three wishes to three different people. The fist person wished for death as his/her last wish. Morris's wishes are unknown, but he tried to destroy the paw in the fireplace. Mr. White didn't let this happen and took the paw. Morris warned him that if he must wish, he had to make it sensible. Also, that the wished came true very naturally, as if they happened by themselves and not as a wish.
To make a long story very, very short, Mr. White messed things up, his son died because he wished for money. The Whites then wished for their son to come back to life. Mr. White was afraid and didn't let Mrs. White open the door for her back-alive son to come in. He ended up using his last wish to take his soon back to the grave. And That's it, so that's the story.